Thursday, April 15, 2004
That pill I took yesterday has completely wiped me out. It's 4pm and I've spent most of the day in bed. Just going round in circles taking these pills. No energy today at all. 1 step forward, 2 steps back.
"I took my medication, I felt worse" - Lloyd Cole
"I took my medication, I felt worse" - Lloyd Cole
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Had a good evening at the pub with C. Phoned J but just got his machine. Don't know where he is. They've maybe gone away for a few days.
Took the first Lustral this morning. At lunchtime I had an attack of diarrhoea and this afternoon I've been feeling nauseous.
Not a good start.
Took the first Lustral this morning. At lunchtime I had an attack of diarrhoea and this afternoon I've been feeling nauseous.
Not a good start.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
I listened to some of 'Quote - Unquote' on R4 last evening and one quote was the Time To Die speech from Blade Runner. The contestant didn't know it, not being a sci-fi fan but as a MIB fan, I recognised it instantly... but couldn't remember the name of the film - doh! By happy coincidence, JJ & co are playing a gig in Perth next month. Haven't seen the Stranglers in ages.
Went into town this morning, had coffee with S and then headed up to the Elf Centre to pick up my prescription. I'm on Lustrals now, which Dan The Man was on and they did the trick for him. Wonder if they'll prove lucky for me. On the PIL (patient info leaflet) it says...
"Depression is a clinical illness. If you have been feeling sad, tearful, unable to sleep properly or to enjoy life as you used to, Lustral may help you to feel better."
Sums up how I'm feeling just now. Will start taking them tomorrow as I've a pre-arranged sesh at the pub with J and C this evening. As it's my last day on the piss, I've finished off a bottle of red and got 6 bottles of Stella for £4 at Alldays in case J wants to come here first for a drink.
I know being off the drink is the best way forward but I'm gonna miss it. 'Alcohol is your yoga, baby' as Love and Rockets sang all those years ago.
So let's drink a drink to Lily the Pink, for tomorrow the mormons come to town and my house will be dryer than an empty bottle. :o(
Depressing or what?
Baby's Got The Bends - Radiohead
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Went into town this morning, had coffee with S and then headed up to the Elf Centre to pick up my prescription. I'm on Lustrals now, which Dan The Man was on and they did the trick for him. Wonder if they'll prove lucky for me. On the PIL (patient info leaflet) it says...
"Depression is a clinical illness. If you have been feeling sad, tearful, unable to sleep properly or to enjoy life as you used to, Lustral may help you to feel better."
Sums up how I'm feeling just now. Will start taking them tomorrow as I've a pre-arranged sesh at the pub with J and C this evening. As it's my last day on the piss, I've finished off a bottle of red and got 6 bottles of Stella for £4 at Alldays in case J wants to come here first for a drink.
I know being off the drink is the best way forward but I'm gonna miss it. 'Alcohol is your yoga, baby' as Love and Rockets sang all those years ago.
So let's drink a drink to Lily the Pink, for tomorrow the mormons come to town and my house will be dryer than an empty bottle. :o(
Depressing or what?
Baby's Got The Bends - Radiohead
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Monday, April 12, 2004
Easter Monday. Doesn't mean a hellava lot up here. The students are back so town will be going like the proverbial fair with the university back in business after their hols and all the Easter mobs in town too. Went down the road for some groceries and it was busy enough down there.
Have contacted Elmwood College for a prospectus. I quite enjoyed being at college last year despite the abrupt end to it. If I can find a course at E starting this August then it gives me something to aim for. The alternative is going back to the Jobcentre after I'm 'cured' of this illness which is depressing in itself.
It's probably what I should have done 2 years ago. Then I could have enjoyed the summer and looked forward to doing something new at college. Instead I more or less threw myself straight back into the business of job hunting with no clear idea of what I wanted to do. So I just applied for mainly IT jobs most of which I didn't really want. And doing 3 months of that training for work course made me realise that there are plenty of other (younger) people looking for IT jobs who are more enthusiastic than I'll ever be.
I mean, who's going to employ a 40 yr old as a computer tech? F**king no-one, that's who. So if I don't go back to college and do something completely different, I'll just end up stacking shelves at Safeway, or Morrisons as it'll soon be.
What to do? That's the question.
Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
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Have contacted Elmwood College for a prospectus. I quite enjoyed being at college last year despite the abrupt end to it. If I can find a course at E starting this August then it gives me something to aim for. The alternative is going back to the Jobcentre after I'm 'cured' of this illness which is depressing in itself.
It's probably what I should have done 2 years ago. Then I could have enjoyed the summer and looked forward to doing something new at college. Instead I more or less threw myself straight back into the business of job hunting with no clear idea of what I wanted to do. So I just applied for mainly IT jobs most of which I didn't really want. And doing 3 months of that training for work course made me realise that there are plenty of other (younger) people looking for IT jobs who are more enthusiastic than I'll ever be.
I mean, who's going to employ a 40 yr old as a computer tech? F**king no-one, that's who. So if I don't go back to college and do something completely different, I'll just end up stacking shelves at Safeway, or Morrisons as it'll soon be.
What to do? That's the question.
Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
______________________
