Saturday, May 01, 2004
:o(
Was supposed to be at Sam's for supper and DVD with K+J but when I got to her flat she wasn't in. I tried her mobile but could hear it ringing on the other side of the door. I knew she was on duty but I get really freaked out when she's not there. I feel claustraphobic (sp?) and very uneasy. So I went down to the front door, looked around but she wasn't there so I headed down to the car. She saw me and ran after me. She tried to persuade me to go up to the flat but the anxiety had grabbed hold and I knew I had to come home.
It's a horrible feeling but there's no point in trying to fight it. It just makes me feel like a social leper. I wish it was raining. Go away sunshine, you hurt my eyes, my brain, my soul.
Music therapy with Mega City Four.
Was supposed to be at Sam's for supper and DVD with K+J but when I got to her flat she wasn't in. I tried her mobile but could hear it ringing on the other side of the door. I knew she was on duty but I get really freaked out when she's not there. I feel claustraphobic (sp?) and very uneasy. So I went down to the front door, looked around but she wasn't there so I headed down to the car. She saw me and ran after me. She tried to persuade me to go up to the flat but the anxiety had grabbed hold and I knew I had to come home.
It's a horrible feeling but there's no point in trying to fight it. It just makes me feel like a social leper. I wish it was raining. Go away sunshine, you hurt my eyes, my brain, my soul.
Music therapy with Mega City Four.
12 noon. Sunny Saturday. New washing machine taking forever to do a standard wash. I don't understand it - they claim the new machines are more environmentally friendly but they take longer so must be using more power. And it seems to be doing twice the rinses that the old one did. Just seems painfully slow and is doing my head in. Probably best if I put it on and go out. Once it gets to the spinning I can't get away from the noise unless I'm in my bedroom with music playing and all the doors closed.
It seems to be a tighter fit than the old one so when it spins it's bashing against the unit next to it. I'm putting a thin sponge wipe thing down the side which helps a bit. I think back to the days when I was in London and we didn't have a machine. So much easier just dropping stuff off for a service wash.
The folks came over on Thursday and fortunately I had a good day. I was more like my old self so they went away happy. I am feeling better generally but the bad days feel worse as the good days become more frequent.
My neck and shoulders are feeling crap. Too much time at the computer yesterday. But I'm back on it today. Why can't you get massage\chiro treatment on the NHS? Physiotherapy sucks but it's the only free treatment there is. Must get some more ibuprofen.
Enough already.
Joe got tix for the MIB so I gave Dreamtime a spin this morning.
There's always the sun...
It seems to be a tighter fit than the old one so when it spins it's bashing against the unit next to it. I'm putting a thin sponge wipe thing down the side which helps a bit. I think back to the days when I was in London and we didn't have a machine. So much easier just dropping stuff off for a service wash.
The folks came over on Thursday and fortunately I had a good day. I was more like my old self so they went away happy. I am feeling better generally but the bad days feel worse as the good days become more frequent.
My neck and shoulders are feeling crap. Too much time at the computer yesterday. But I'm back on it today. Why can't you get massage\chiro treatment on the NHS? Physiotherapy sucks but it's the only free treatment there is. Must get some more ibuprofen.
Enough already.
Joe got tix for the MIB so I gave Dreamtime a spin this morning.
There's always the sun...
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
9:40 Appt w/ Dr S (I could have a depressive personality)
10 home (is where the heart is...)
11 PC on (email, online banking)
12 Lunch (beef & salad sandwich)
2 Drive into town (park on South St - no wardens)
2:10 Qs at bank + PO (don't want to q)
2:30 Goto Co-op (buy food and drink -special offer on Irn Bru!)
2:55 home (...but my heart is out on a limb)
3:10 Cut grass (Mrs L goes off to pick up son)
4:00 Tea time (tea, no biscuit)
4:40 type this (listen to Muse)
10 home (is where the heart is...)
11 PC on (email, online banking)
12 Lunch (beef & salad sandwich)
2 Drive into town (park on South St - no wardens)
2:10 Qs at bank + PO (don't want to q)
2:30 Goto Co-op (buy food and drink -special offer on Irn Bru!)
2:55 home (...but my heart is out on a limb)
3:10 Cut grass (Mrs L goes off to pick up son)
4:00 Tea time (tea, no biscuit)
4:40 type this (listen to Muse)
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Spot the spelling mistake in yesterday's post. Missed out a letter in family. It's strange how I can read something 2 or 3 times that I've typed and don't see such a glaring mistake. Selective blindness or something.
Quiet day today. Very warm and sunny so I sat in the garden and read Scotland on Sunday. Good interviews with Patti Smith, Alexei Sayle and John Martyn.
Watched some of the GP and the Celtic-Hearts game. I can hear various people saying, you shouldn't be stuck inside on a lovely day like this, but it's not like I'm off to work tomorrow. I've been saying to myself that I must get the bike out of the shed so maybe tomorrow, if it's sunny again.
Feeling knackered. Bad night's sleep. So what's new?
No music today. Just the German + Italian anthems when Schumacher won the race.
Quiet day today. Very warm and sunny so I sat in the garden and read Scotland on Sunday. Good interviews with Patti Smith, Alexei Sayle and John Martyn.
Watched some of the GP and the Celtic-Hearts game. I can hear various people saying, you shouldn't be stuck inside on a lovely day like this, but it's not like I'm off to work tomorrow. I've been saying to myself that I must get the bike out of the shed so maybe tomorrow, if it's sunny again.
Feeling knackered. Bad night's sleep. So what's new?
No music today. Just the German + Italian anthems when Schumacher won the race.
