Saturday, April 24, 2004
----
2nd appt at the clinic. Went ok. He highlighted the 3 main problem areas -
1. Relationships within my famiy
2. the effect of alcohol
3. what I'm going to do re work or college
I think it's better having morning appts as I don't have all day to think about what I'm gonna say to him. But I still feel a bit dazed when I come out at the end. Bit like how I feel after sitting in the dentist chair except that after the latter you know something's been fixed and you can get on with your life. Must be about time for my 6 month check-up. Wonder which filling(s) he'll have to replace this time... probably top left. Doesn't feel quite right.
Got a call from Sam which was fine. I then phoned mum and I got a bit stressed talking about my financial situation so they are going to come over during the week to see what they can do to help. As she said, there's no point in me fretting about lack of money. Doesn't help that I have to start paying some council tax even though I'm still on benefit. Bloody council. Take money from those who can't afford it. It's enough to make me vote Scottish Socialist. Just as well dad doesn't read this or he'd dis-own me!
I headed off to Dundee this afternoon but got as far as Leuchars and decided I didn't want to go, so headed over the Cupar and got some food at Tesco. Resisted having a drink when I got home - had some tea and watched the footie scores coming in. Hibs lost but Utd got a draw against the Huns. Mr Britt will no doubt be having a jar or several to celebrate this evening.
Naff all on TV tonight.
Oh, I got a booklet from Dr GP+. Rather curious that he thinks I need an intro to depression! Been there, got the t-shirt! I told mum I thought he'd been a bit out of line suggesting what medication I should be on when he's never met me.
Bit of Shetland folk from Drop The Box as I type.
---
2nd appt at the clinic. Went ok. He highlighted the 3 main problem areas -
1. Relationships within my famiy
2. the effect of alcohol
3. what I'm going to do re work or college
I think it's better having morning appts as I don't have all day to think about what I'm gonna say to him. But I still feel a bit dazed when I come out at the end. Bit like how I feel after sitting in the dentist chair except that after the latter you know something's been fixed and you can get on with your life. Must be about time for my 6 month check-up. Wonder which filling(s) he'll have to replace this time... probably top left. Doesn't feel quite right.
Got a call from Sam which was fine. I then phoned mum and I got a bit stressed talking about my financial situation so they are going to come over during the week to see what they can do to help. As she said, there's no point in me fretting about lack of money. Doesn't help that I have to start paying some council tax even though I'm still on benefit. Bloody council. Take money from those who can't afford it. It's enough to make me vote Scottish Socialist. Just as well dad doesn't read this or he'd dis-own me!
I headed off to Dundee this afternoon but got as far as Leuchars and decided I didn't want to go, so headed over the Cupar and got some food at Tesco. Resisted having a drink when I got home - had some tea and watched the footie scores coming in. Hibs lost but Utd got a draw against the Huns. Mr Britt will no doubt be having a jar or several to celebrate this evening.
Naff all on TV tonight.
Oh, I got a booklet from Dr GP+. Rather curious that he thinks I need an intro to depression! Been there, got the t-shirt! I told mum I thought he'd been a bit out of line suggesting what medication I should be on when he's never met me.
Bit of Shetland folk from Drop The Box as I type.
---
Friday, April 23, 2004
New washing machine delivered this afternoon. The bloke said he couldn't connect it for me as there was water dripping from the pipes, despite the taps being turned off. Everyone's paranoid about getting sued over the smallest thing - it's getting like America. So I had to connect it up and push it into place.
There was supposed to be a test programme but as they didn't connect it they couldn't do that and there's nothing in the instructions about it. Instead it tells you to set it at prog 1 which is a 90 degree wash which lasts about 3 hours. After 1 hour it didn't seem to have moved on so I've stopped it and put it on the 40 degree prog as that's the one I'll be using most.
Geoff came round for a cuppa. He's heading off to France for a break in a couple of weeks. I wouldn't mind a break. We may well go down to the Lakes in the summer as Ingrid and Pete are going to be away alot so we can house-sit for them.
Not much else to type. Happy St George's Day. Patron saint of various places including Germany, Portugal, Barcelona, Genoa, Ferrara, Armenia, Antioch, Malta and, of course, England.
Cash Down Never Never - RT
________________________
There was supposed to be a test programme but as they didn't connect it they couldn't do that and there's nothing in the instructions about it. Instead it tells you to set it at prog 1 which is a 90 degree wash which lasts about 3 hours. After 1 hour it didn't seem to have moved on so I've stopped it and put it on the 40 degree prog as that's the one I'll be using most.
Geoff came round for a cuppa. He's heading off to France for a break in a couple of weeks. I wouldn't mind a break. We may well go down to the Lakes in the summer as Ingrid and Pete are going to be away alot so we can house-sit for them.
Not much else to type. Happy St George's Day. Patron saint of various places including Germany, Portugal, Barcelona, Genoa, Ferrara, Armenia, Antioch, Malta and, of course, England.
Cash Down Never Never - RT
________________________
Just back from a great night out at the Folk Club. Fence were playing, or to be more precise, The Pictish Trail, Pip Dylan and King Creosote. The place was packed out, they had a nice guest beer from the Broughton brewery and I saw alot of the old crowd there.
Back at half 11 and put the pooter on. Checked my email and my quota was damn near full. Some crap in my spam folder which I deleted.
I was feeling so good. Should have just gone to bed but I'm now feeling pissed off with people sticking their noses in where they're not wanted.
And they wonder why I hit the bottle! Leave me the fuck alone. I'm doing ok.
Breaking Into Heaven - The Stone Roses
________________________________
Back at half 11 and put the pooter on. Checked my email and my quota was damn near full. Some crap in my spam folder which I deleted.
I was feeling so good. Should have just gone to bed but I'm now feeling pissed off with people sticking their noses in where they're not wanted.
And they wonder why I hit the bottle! Leave me the fuck alone. I'm doing ok.
Breaking Into Heaven - The Stone Roses
________________________________
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Middle of the week. Spent last night at AMH. Nice start to the morning - nudge nudge, say no more! But the downside is that after dropping herself off in town I come back here and there's a whole day stretching out in front of me. Had a bath, checked email, fannied about but at noon the anxiety takes over and I've opened a bottle of beer.
I was gonna try and only drink in company but it's difficult. The last two days I've returned to 'normal' after taking that pill last week. Felt like I'd gone back to the bad old days with IBS but I'm feeling better now. But it made me realise that I have to control the alcohol intake. The more I drink, the more things go wrong.
The word wrap isn't working properly on this today. Maybe the computer can tell I'm not sober!
Round, like a circle in a circle, like a wheel within a wheel...
I was gonna try and only drink in company but it's difficult. The last two days I've returned to 'normal' after taking that pill last week. Felt like I'd gone back to the bad old days with IBS but I'm feeling better now. But it made me realise that I have to control the alcohol intake. The more I drink, the more things go wrong.
The word wrap isn't working properly on this today. Maybe the computer can tell I'm not sober!
Round, like a circle in a circle, like a wheel within a wheel...
Monday, April 19, 2004
Another day with nothing to do
Stay in bed or sit on the loo
Read the paper or try reading a book
Hide in my house, feel like a crook
Another Monday, their 9 to 5
For other people they feel alive
I get up late and listen to Hugh
Another day with nothing to do.
Stay in bed or sit on the loo
Read the paper or try reading a book
Hide in my house, feel like a crook
Another Monday, their 9 to 5
For other people they feel alive
I get up late and listen to Hugh
Another day with nothing to do.
