Thursday, May 20, 2004
You stay away for a couple of weeks and they go and change the format of the web site. Change for the sake of it - keeps someone in a job I suppose.
So what's been happening in the last 2 weeks? Well, a week past Friday I spent hours online which had alot to do with a few vodkas. Not a clever day to get drunk as I had an appt with Dr C the next morning. The appt went ok and I'll be seeing him on Saturday.
The down side of being online for so long was that I got pain in my hand and shoulder - good ol' RSI. So I've been avoiding doing too much typing.
I had an appt with a doc from the DSS on Monday, checking I'm not claiming benefit when I shouldn't be. Went ok. His conclusion was that I've still a while to go before I'm better and I shouldn't be forced into doing anything in the meantime.
Sam and I saw RT last night in Edinburgh. We were in the circle, sorry, Grand Circle at the Usher Hall and the sound was a bit echo-y to start with but after the first few songs it was fine. He played a great set incl 1 Fairport song and a few from his days with Linda. Beeswing and Gethsemane sent shivers up and down my body. I think the latter is such a powerful song. A song I can relate to.
Anyway, pizza in the oven (BOGOF at Alldays) and the only song I've listened to so far today is a witty ditty by RT about Janet Jackson's tit coming out at the Superbowl. Listen to it at...
http://www.richardthompson-music.com
So what's been happening in the last 2 weeks? Well, a week past Friday I spent hours online which had alot to do with a few vodkas. Not a clever day to get drunk as I had an appt with Dr C the next morning. The appt went ok and I'll be seeing him on Saturday.
The down side of being online for so long was that I got pain in my hand and shoulder - good ol' RSI. So I've been avoiding doing too much typing.
I had an appt with a doc from the DSS on Monday, checking I'm not claiming benefit when I shouldn't be. Went ok. His conclusion was that I've still a while to go before I'm better and I shouldn't be forced into doing anything in the meantime.
Sam and I saw RT last night in Edinburgh. We were in the circle, sorry, Grand Circle at the Usher Hall and the sound was a bit echo-y to start with but after the first few songs it was fine. He played a great set incl 1 Fairport song and a few from his days with Linda. Beeswing and Gethsemane sent shivers up and down my body. I think the latter is such a powerful song. A song I can relate to.
Anyway, pizza in the oven (BOGOF at Alldays) and the only song I've listened to so far today is a witty ditty by RT about Janet Jackson's tit coming out at the Superbowl. Listen to it at...
http://www.richardthompson-music.com
Thursday, May 06, 2004
I'm getting better. I can tell by things like the way this morning went. I'd gone to bed quite early last night and struggled to get out of bed at 9:15. Had 3 drinks last night, nothing heavy (note - don't buy that French beer again). I went online and found the latest Africa email from Gillian. I copied it into Word then tried to print it. Usual crap with margins error message and my printer screwed up when trying to print on the thicker paper. That got me angry but I re-booted and tried again with cheaper paper. Printed ok.
Put some washing on, then went into town to the supermarket. Typically when I got to the checkout there were queues at every place so I knew I was gonna have to wait whatever. I chose what turned out to be the slowest - someone paying by cheque, scales at till not working properly etc - but I just let it go. No hurry. Had to get petrol and when I drove round to the filling station, it was quiet.
It's almost like I'm being tested. Let's see how you repsond when the printer jams, when it's dead slow at the supermarket.
I'm not saying I'm 100% better but seeing as how I didn't want to get up this morning, I've achieved quite a bit.
Every day, in every way, I'm getting better! :o)
Bit of Ian McNabb today. Had 'Loveless Age' playing in my head when I got up. It's still there!
Put some washing on, then went into town to the supermarket. Typically when I got to the checkout there were queues at every place so I knew I was gonna have to wait whatever. I chose what turned out to be the slowest - someone paying by cheque, scales at till not working properly etc - but I just let it go. No hurry. Had to get petrol and when I drove round to the filling station, it was quiet.
It's almost like I'm being tested. Let's see how you repsond when the printer jams, when it's dead slow at the supermarket.
I'm not saying I'm 100% better but seeing as how I didn't want to get up this morning, I've achieved quite a bit.
Every day, in every way, I'm getting better! :o)
Bit of Ian McNabb today. Had 'Loveless Age' playing in my head when I got up. It's still there!
Saturday, May 01, 2004
:o(
Was supposed to be at Sam's for supper and DVD with K+J but when I got to her flat she wasn't in. I tried her mobile but could hear it ringing on the other side of the door. I knew she was on duty but I get really freaked out when she's not there. I feel claustraphobic (sp?) and very uneasy. So I went down to the front door, looked around but she wasn't there so I headed down to the car. She saw me and ran after me. She tried to persuade me to go up to the flat but the anxiety had grabbed hold and I knew I had to come home.
It's a horrible feeling but there's no point in trying to fight it. It just makes me feel like a social leper. I wish it was raining. Go away sunshine, you hurt my eyes, my brain, my soul.
Music therapy with Mega City Four.
Was supposed to be at Sam's for supper and DVD with K+J but when I got to her flat she wasn't in. I tried her mobile but could hear it ringing on the other side of the door. I knew she was on duty but I get really freaked out when she's not there. I feel claustraphobic (sp?) and very uneasy. So I went down to the front door, looked around but she wasn't there so I headed down to the car. She saw me and ran after me. She tried to persuade me to go up to the flat but the anxiety had grabbed hold and I knew I had to come home.
It's a horrible feeling but there's no point in trying to fight it. It just makes me feel like a social leper. I wish it was raining. Go away sunshine, you hurt my eyes, my brain, my soul.
Music therapy with Mega City Four.
12 noon. Sunny Saturday. New washing machine taking forever to do a standard wash. I don't understand it - they claim the new machines are more environmentally friendly but they take longer so must be using more power. And it seems to be doing twice the rinses that the old one did. Just seems painfully slow and is doing my head in. Probably best if I put it on and go out. Once it gets to the spinning I can't get away from the noise unless I'm in my bedroom with music playing and all the doors closed.
It seems to be a tighter fit than the old one so when it spins it's bashing against the unit next to it. I'm putting a thin sponge wipe thing down the side which helps a bit. I think back to the days when I was in London and we didn't have a machine. So much easier just dropping stuff off for a service wash.
The folks came over on Thursday and fortunately I had a good day. I was more like my old self so they went away happy. I am feeling better generally but the bad days feel worse as the good days become more frequent.
My neck and shoulders are feeling crap. Too much time at the computer yesterday. But I'm back on it today. Why can't you get massage\chiro treatment on the NHS? Physiotherapy sucks but it's the only free treatment there is. Must get some more ibuprofen.
Enough already.
Joe got tix for the MIB so I gave Dreamtime a spin this morning.
There's always the sun...
It seems to be a tighter fit than the old one so when it spins it's bashing against the unit next to it. I'm putting a thin sponge wipe thing down the side which helps a bit. I think back to the days when I was in London and we didn't have a machine. So much easier just dropping stuff off for a service wash.
The folks came over on Thursday and fortunately I had a good day. I was more like my old self so they went away happy. I am feeling better generally but the bad days feel worse as the good days become more frequent.
My neck and shoulders are feeling crap. Too much time at the computer yesterday. But I'm back on it today. Why can't you get massage\chiro treatment on the NHS? Physiotherapy sucks but it's the only free treatment there is. Must get some more ibuprofen.
Enough already.
Joe got tix for the MIB so I gave Dreamtime a spin this morning.
There's always the sun...
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
9:40 Appt w/ Dr S (I could have a depressive personality)
10 home (is where the heart is...)
11 PC on (email, online banking)
12 Lunch (beef & salad sandwich)
2 Drive into town (park on South St - no wardens)
2:10 Qs at bank + PO (don't want to q)
2:30 Goto Co-op (buy food and drink -special offer on Irn Bru!)
2:55 home (...but my heart is out on a limb)
3:10 Cut grass (Mrs L goes off to pick up son)
4:00 Tea time (tea, no biscuit)
4:40 type this (listen to Muse)
10 home (is where the heart is...)
11 PC on (email, online banking)
12 Lunch (beef & salad sandwich)
2 Drive into town (park on South St - no wardens)
2:10 Qs at bank + PO (don't want to q)
2:30 Goto Co-op (buy food and drink -special offer on Irn Bru!)
2:55 home (...but my heart is out on a limb)
3:10 Cut grass (Mrs L goes off to pick up son)
4:00 Tea time (tea, no biscuit)
4:40 type this (listen to Muse)
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Spot the spelling mistake in yesterday's post. Missed out a letter in family. It's strange how I can read something 2 or 3 times that I've typed and don't see such a glaring mistake. Selective blindness or something.
Quiet day today. Very warm and sunny so I sat in the garden and read Scotland on Sunday. Good interviews with Patti Smith, Alexei Sayle and John Martyn.
Watched some of the GP and the Celtic-Hearts game. I can hear various people saying, you shouldn't be stuck inside on a lovely day like this, but it's not like I'm off to work tomorrow. I've been saying to myself that I must get the bike out of the shed so maybe tomorrow, if it's sunny again.
Feeling knackered. Bad night's sleep. So what's new?
No music today. Just the German + Italian anthems when Schumacher won the race.
Quiet day today. Very warm and sunny so I sat in the garden and read Scotland on Sunday. Good interviews with Patti Smith, Alexei Sayle and John Martyn.
Watched some of the GP and the Celtic-Hearts game. I can hear various people saying, you shouldn't be stuck inside on a lovely day like this, but it's not like I'm off to work tomorrow. I've been saying to myself that I must get the bike out of the shed so maybe tomorrow, if it's sunny again.
Feeling knackered. Bad night's sleep. So what's new?
No music today. Just the German + Italian anthems when Schumacher won the race.
Saturday, April 24, 2004
----
2nd appt at the clinic. Went ok. He highlighted the 3 main problem areas -
1. Relationships within my famiy
2. the effect of alcohol
3. what I'm going to do re work or college
I think it's better having morning appts as I don't have all day to think about what I'm gonna say to him. But I still feel a bit dazed when I come out at the end. Bit like how I feel after sitting in the dentist chair except that after the latter you know something's been fixed and you can get on with your life. Must be about time for my 6 month check-up. Wonder which filling(s) he'll have to replace this time... probably top left. Doesn't feel quite right.
Got a call from Sam which was fine. I then phoned mum and I got a bit stressed talking about my financial situation so they are going to come over during the week to see what they can do to help. As she said, there's no point in me fretting about lack of money. Doesn't help that I have to start paying some council tax even though I'm still on benefit. Bloody council. Take money from those who can't afford it. It's enough to make me vote Scottish Socialist. Just as well dad doesn't read this or he'd dis-own me!
I headed off to Dundee this afternoon but got as far as Leuchars and decided I didn't want to go, so headed over the Cupar and got some food at Tesco. Resisted having a drink when I got home - had some tea and watched the footie scores coming in. Hibs lost but Utd got a draw against the Huns. Mr Britt will no doubt be having a jar or several to celebrate this evening.
Naff all on TV tonight.
Oh, I got a booklet from Dr GP+. Rather curious that he thinks I need an intro to depression! Been there, got the t-shirt! I told mum I thought he'd been a bit out of line suggesting what medication I should be on when he's never met me.
Bit of Shetland folk from Drop The Box as I type.
---
2nd appt at the clinic. Went ok. He highlighted the 3 main problem areas -
1. Relationships within my famiy
2. the effect of alcohol
3. what I'm going to do re work or college
I think it's better having morning appts as I don't have all day to think about what I'm gonna say to him. But I still feel a bit dazed when I come out at the end. Bit like how I feel after sitting in the dentist chair except that after the latter you know something's been fixed and you can get on with your life. Must be about time for my 6 month check-up. Wonder which filling(s) he'll have to replace this time... probably top left. Doesn't feel quite right.
Got a call from Sam which was fine. I then phoned mum and I got a bit stressed talking about my financial situation so they are going to come over during the week to see what they can do to help. As she said, there's no point in me fretting about lack of money. Doesn't help that I have to start paying some council tax even though I'm still on benefit. Bloody council. Take money from those who can't afford it. It's enough to make me vote Scottish Socialist. Just as well dad doesn't read this or he'd dis-own me!
I headed off to Dundee this afternoon but got as far as Leuchars and decided I didn't want to go, so headed over the Cupar and got some food at Tesco. Resisted having a drink when I got home - had some tea and watched the footie scores coming in. Hibs lost but Utd got a draw against the Huns. Mr Britt will no doubt be having a jar or several to celebrate this evening.
Naff all on TV tonight.
Oh, I got a booklet from Dr GP+. Rather curious that he thinks I need an intro to depression! Been there, got the t-shirt! I told mum I thought he'd been a bit out of line suggesting what medication I should be on when he's never met me.
Bit of Shetland folk from Drop The Box as I type.
---
Friday, April 23, 2004
New washing machine delivered this afternoon. The bloke said he couldn't connect it for me as there was water dripping from the pipes, despite the taps being turned off. Everyone's paranoid about getting sued over the smallest thing - it's getting like America. So I had to connect it up and push it into place.
There was supposed to be a test programme but as they didn't connect it they couldn't do that and there's nothing in the instructions about it. Instead it tells you to set it at prog 1 which is a 90 degree wash which lasts about 3 hours. After 1 hour it didn't seem to have moved on so I've stopped it and put it on the 40 degree prog as that's the one I'll be using most.
Geoff came round for a cuppa. He's heading off to France for a break in a couple of weeks. I wouldn't mind a break. We may well go down to the Lakes in the summer as Ingrid and Pete are going to be away alot so we can house-sit for them.
Not much else to type. Happy St George's Day. Patron saint of various places including Germany, Portugal, Barcelona, Genoa, Ferrara, Armenia, Antioch, Malta and, of course, England.
Cash Down Never Never - RT
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There was supposed to be a test programme but as they didn't connect it they couldn't do that and there's nothing in the instructions about it. Instead it tells you to set it at prog 1 which is a 90 degree wash which lasts about 3 hours. After 1 hour it didn't seem to have moved on so I've stopped it and put it on the 40 degree prog as that's the one I'll be using most.
Geoff came round for a cuppa. He's heading off to France for a break in a couple of weeks. I wouldn't mind a break. We may well go down to the Lakes in the summer as Ingrid and Pete are going to be away alot so we can house-sit for them.
Not much else to type. Happy St George's Day. Patron saint of various places including Germany, Portugal, Barcelona, Genoa, Ferrara, Armenia, Antioch, Malta and, of course, England.
Cash Down Never Never - RT
________________________
Just back from a great night out at the Folk Club. Fence were playing, or to be more precise, The Pictish Trail, Pip Dylan and King Creosote. The place was packed out, they had a nice guest beer from the Broughton brewery and I saw alot of the old crowd there.
Back at half 11 and put the pooter on. Checked my email and my quota was damn near full. Some crap in my spam folder which I deleted.
I was feeling so good. Should have just gone to bed but I'm now feeling pissed off with people sticking their noses in where they're not wanted.
And they wonder why I hit the bottle! Leave me the fuck alone. I'm doing ok.
Breaking Into Heaven - The Stone Roses
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Back at half 11 and put the pooter on. Checked my email and my quota was damn near full. Some crap in my spam folder which I deleted.
I was feeling so good. Should have just gone to bed but I'm now feeling pissed off with people sticking their noses in where they're not wanted.
And they wonder why I hit the bottle! Leave me the fuck alone. I'm doing ok.
Breaking Into Heaven - The Stone Roses
________________________________
